November 7th, 2009
Why?
It hurts.
Thinking just a while ago that he was there beside you, with his arms around you, kissing your hair. And then, just a few hours after that, he was in the airport waiting for his girlfriend.
Torture beyond all torture.
Why did I love him this much?
It hurts so bad it consumes all of my being... all of me.
Just why did I let this happen?
And why him?
Why can't I let him go?
I wish I could just forget everything that has happened just like that. I wish I got amnesia of that part of my life. I wish I could erase that chapter of my life.
I'm just so pathetic.
Am I that bad?
I love him so much. I do. I love him.
Why doesn't he want me? What's wrong with me?
It hurts like crazy.
Death is better than feeling like this. Like you were used. But I don't want to think that I was used. Coz I love him. It would hurt more, if it's possible to hurt more than what I'm feeling right now.
And I can't talk these things out to anyone.
They always say that things happen for a reason.
I wish I know why this happened.
It's just so painful...